8 February 1999 Copyright, 1999, Max K. Goff, all rights reserved
I've been remiss in adding diary entries for the past few weeks....it's not that I haven't had anything to say. I've just been busy -- speaking and traveling, mostly. I've also been completely redesigning my web site, which has taken a lot of time. And then there's the acting. This year I've committed to myself to devote all my extra energy to theatrical endeavors, which in my mind includes impeccable physical preparations -- in other words, getting in good shape -- not just good shape, but getting in the best physical condition I've ever been. Naturally, such endeavors take time. I've been busy. Several ideas for new essays have occurred to me over the past few weeks, which I will hopefully get a chance to write soon. And I'll roll out the web site soon as well -- likely within the next few days.I'm in Minneapolis today, talking Java with a number of engineers at a small company headquartered here. I met two of my fellow evangelists here this morning -- it's a "Sun Day" at this site. We call them SunDays -- a full day of Sun related technology presentations. Today I'm talking about Java2 and Jini, two of my favorite topics. It's a small but bright group, making interactions very satisfying. They tell me it's a balmy day for this time of year in these parts. The sun is shining, I'll give them that. But there is snow on the ground, which is something I haven't seen much of in New York the past couple of years (although I think it snowed in NYC yesterday -- I left town yesterday afternoon). Global warming. They're saying it here, much as they're saying it in other parts of the country, other parts of the world. It's global warming. The unintended consequences of human technology.
It was new New Year's resolution to start living my life in the healthiest manner possible, which meant quitting smoking (everything), and not substituting anything negative in place of those missing crutches. Physical exercise is the only acceptable substitute, and I'm pleased to report that I've successfully integrated that particular addiction into my life -- at least for the past several weeks. I also quite drinking coffee (and all caffeine beverages) on my last trip to Europe. I haven't used food as a substitute -- in fact, I've lost 10 pounds since the first of the year, due to both exercise and a very healthy diet. I've not been drinking at all -- but I've never been much of a drinker. And I even had my chakras tuned by a spiritual healer in Manhattan (Hey! It made a difference!) Herbal tea, fruit, vegetables, lean meats, vege-burgers, tofu, massive quantities of vitamins -- these are the primary components of my life now, mixed with regular exercise and a redevotion to both my careers, actor and evangelist.
And yet, I find a sadness, a darkness of soul that I've really known before. I think I know why.Addictions are like masks. In order to avoid my pain, I fall into addictive patterns utilizing temporal pain killers, which can come with many faces: drugs, tobacco, food, sex, alcohol, even religion. I wear the masks and not have to face my pain -- at least for a moment, until I need my next fix. I've heard it said that there is no greater pain than the pain that you get from trying to avoid the pain. This is the nature of addiction and pain -- no matter what the addictive mechanism, the mask itself will give rise to greater pain than the pain you're trying to avoid. Inevitably.
This realization on a personal level can be life alchemy. Knowing the nature of my addictions makes it easier to face the ultimate pain, but does not excuse me from ultimately having to face it. Hence, even though I'm healthier than ever, or at least on the healthiest path I can imagine, I am engaging more pain than ever before. The solace in knowing that "this too shall pass" keeps me from falling off this particular wagon....that and the fact that I am getting in shape, and I like the way that feels.
So what does this have to do with technology evangelism? A lot. Remember the analogy of Micro$oft as the illegal drug dealer? We're all addicts. Something like 90% of the non-embedded processors on the planet run Windows. We're addicts. The pain we're avoiding is basically having to learn to interface with a real operating system, like one of the UNIX flavors. The pain of learning something new. The pain of converting code or data or systems. As a result of that pain avoidance, we suffer the much greater pain of the Windows legacy: viral-prone, unstable, expensive and just plain poorly designed, unless your goal is to keep users from ever migrating to a competitive platform.
This year I'm facing my addictions. This year, I'm in the process of changing my life. In addition to vitamins, eating right, avoiding caffeine and nicotine, I'm also making it my goal to start weaning myself from my own personal Windows addiction. I'm going to find a way to make presentations using Java, or a combination of Java and HTML, and start using the Linux partition on this laptop without losing any of the sizzle I've become addicted to using PowerPoint. There's not better time than now. Right now.
I read in USA Today this morning that Steve Ballmer is going to reorganize M$ into four divisions, two of which will be focussed entirely on customer needs (wait, didn't they always say, "We do what is best for customers"?) and internet services. Does this mean that M$ is finally getting it, that the DOJ experience has been an epiphany for the Redmond Giant? Don't hold your breath.
